Armani Code for women kind of smells like motion sickness

I’m on the market for a new fragrance. I ran out of Calvin Klein’s lovely Eternity Summer and only sort of knew what I wanted my next fragrance to be. I’d been pining over Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle for a while — especially at the time when I acquired Eternity Summer — but I think those days are over. I don’t like the way it smells on me, so I’ve decided to just let it go. In the meantime, I’ve got a shitload of samples so I’m trying to see if any of them react well with my skin.

Euphoria, which I used briefly last fall, is pretty nice but it smells just a bit too sweet. Armani Code for women smells a bit too strong (very woman), hence the motion sickness association (I used to be greatly affected by motion sickness, and I remember my mother’s strong fragrances making me feel like I was going to puke right there and then, in whatever stuffy car we were in). Anyway — it’s nice, but sweeter and stronger than I’d like. Amor Amor by Cacharel is the front-runner at the moment.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone so long without a perfume. I usually have a new one waiting for me to finish the last few drops of the old one… I don’t know what happened here. I wanted Chanel’s Allure for a long time, but my mom got it as per my recommendation, so there you have it.

So, what else has been up since the last time I posted? Well, the issue of the moment is that public transit hasn’t been running since Tuesday. The transit union, in short, isn’t happy. Apparently, a salary averaging $50,000 a year + crazy benefits aren’t enough for them. I understand that it must be frustrating to be without a contract for such a long time (since March). But the contract — which sounds fucking swell, by the way — proposed by SEPTA was quickly turned down, complicating things ever-so-slightly.

The contract “included a $1,250 bonus upon ratification, a 2.5 percent raise the second year, and a 3 percent raise in each of the final three years.

It also called for no increase in the workers’ health-insurance contributions, which are 1 percent of base pay. It called for a graduated increase in workers’ contributions to their pensions, from 2 percent to 3.5 percent, and an increase in the maximum pension payment to retirees, from $27,000 a year to $30,000 a year.”

Do you know how many people would kill for a contract like this? I’m not sure the transit union gives a shit or even knows whom this strike is hurting. I’ll tell you: it’s the people who don’t have cars, bicycles, or any other means of getting to work. And it’s precisely those people who might lose their jobs because they can’t. get. to. work. Those are the people whose jobs most likely involve more than just sitting on their behinds pulling levers and pressing buttons to make a vehicle crawl along the tracks, driving a bus around town, or sitting behind a window to sell tickets. Jobs that most likely pay less than those greedy bastards earn each year. Jobs that also might not offer health insurance.

So that’s my outrage of the moment. FUCK the union.

 

Back to Square One

Labor Day weekend came and went — and here I am, back in Philadelphia, back at home, back at the former job on Monday, back to square one. After all this time, it feels like nothing has changed. People will disagree and tell me that, no, things -have- changed: I got more education and a certificate. I will reply and say that, no, things have -not- changed, other than the fact that one year was wasted and that I am now in debt. And for what? I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.

Anyway. I’m giving myself six months or so to figure things out and get my shit together. This can’t last forever.

I saw Jason again the night of the 28th. Then he came out again on September 4, when I had my going-away shindig out on the town. We’ve pretty much been talking/corresponding every day since the beginning of August — I guess that, with the subsequent meetings, we could say that we started dating. I was unhappy that I was moving away so soon after meeting him; to my surprise, he said that he wanted to keep talking and seeing each other whenever possible. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be exclusive. It’s quite a commitment, I’d say — don’t you think? I do really like him and thoroughly enjoy his company. I just really wish we were in the same city. Still, Baltimore is closer than DC is, so I suppose that’s not such a horrible thing.

I’ve been sick for over a week now. It’s really draining, but it looks like I’m getting over it. Been plagued with headaches over the past couple days, but it’s nothing some ibuprofen can’t cure. I’m tired. Think I’ll hit the sack.

The countdown begins…

…now?

If all goes “as planned” — meaning if I don’t find a job in DC before my lease is up — I’m moving back to Philly over Labor Day weekend. How I feel about that? It kind of stinks. I know how much I initially hated DC — but that was before I met so many incredible people. Now I’m just torn; truthfully I’d much rather stay here because there are more job opportunities (or so I hear) and moving to another state is a real pain in the ass.

Anyway…

The day after I said that Jack from OkCupid had stopped texting me, he texted me. Talk of the devil, right? I pretty much stopped messing around with that site and replying to people — there are just too many messages and honestly, I’m not so down with putting in the effort anymore.

I saw Jason again; we went out for dinner on Sunday. When I described our first meeting, I mentioned that our e-mails were very simple, “Hey what’s up” type of messages. I’d like to amend that; our e-mails — exchanged several times a day and, well, every day — are more conversation-like, less blog-like. Anyway… the boy sure can hold up his end of a conversation. He’s just so pleasant to be around, easygoing and a solid head on his shoulders. Funny, too.

Aside from that, not much is new; people have been coming to the apartment to check it out, and I try to make myself scarce. Someone’s coming in four minutes, actually, but I don’t feel like leaving the apartment yet. Maybe I can pretend I’m a permanent fixture here.

Void

Lilly’s gone. She’d been packing for some time now, transporting furniture over to her grandmother’s house and worrying about her luggage being too heavy. A cab came to pick her up about twenty minutes ago; I saw her off, then came back up to an apartment that’s never felt emptier.

I wish her only the best and hope that our paths cross again soon.

Introspective

This feeling of helplessness is really unbecoming.
This feeling of helplessness is really overwhelming.
This feeling of helplessness is really suffocating.
This feeling of helplessness is really asphyxiating.
This feeling of helplessness is really debilitating.

I

don’t

know

what

to

do

.

A Weekend in NYC

A much anticipated trip to New York City has been made. Lilly had originally planned to go with me, but she changed her mind at the last minute. Pity, really, because she’s leaving for England in about ten days and hasn’t seen our NYC friends in quite a while — save for Iris, who was here during the July 4th weekend.

I left via Chinatown bus on Friday at 1pm and got to New York around 6pm. Iris met me when I arrived and we headed to the Museum of Modern Art because admission is free from 4 to 8pm on Fridays. We didn’t actually get to enjoy it because I had to check my backpack — and the line for that was unbelievably long. I did get to pee, though, so it wasn’t all in vain. We went over to the MoMA Design Store, which was pretty fun though overpriced (naturally).

Went to Chal’s place and hung out there the rest of the night. Luke joined us; we made margaritas, ordered a pizza, and played Pictionary. We painted most of Luke’s nails when he dozed off. Luke and Iris eventually left, and it was about time for bed.

I didn’t really sleep that night. I was on the couch, which was comfortable, and decided to watch TV all night. I watched most of the movie Twisted (Ashley Judd, Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson) and parts of Without a Trace.

Jack of OkCupid fame texted me the next morning; I didn’t reply. Chal and I met up with Iris. It was a beautiful day, so we decided to get some sandwiches at a nearby cafe and settle at the local park for lunch and a game of Trivial Pursuit; it was simply a blissful time.

The Guggenheim came next; I decided once and for all that I really disliked Frank Lloyd Wright’s work. I’m just not impressed with his simple and futuristic designs.

We met up with Luke and a friend of his for Mexican food — delicious Mexican food. The guacamole was made fresh right by our table and the portions were HUGE. The sangria tasted like fruit juice, but at least it was tasty.

Once we were too full to walk, we trekked back to Chal’s place to talk and watch TV. We wanted to get beer, but were way too full and (wisely) decided against it. Everyone went home, and, this time, I slept.

The next day, Chal and I met up with Iris for brunch in the neighborhood. Not bad, but not spectacular either. I got a $5 belt from the thrift store across the street because my pants needed to stay on my ass and to the Metro we went…

Chal left us at the station; Iris rode with me for two thirds of the ride; I thought I was going to miss my 3pm bus but got there right on time to nab one of the last few available seats… which was in the very last row between two guys.

The ride was bumpy but otherwise fine; I can never sleep for too long on buses anyway. I got a text from Raphael while rushing from the Chinatown Metro stop to the bus stop, so there were a few exchanges during the ride but nothing too significant. We found ourselves under a super massive rain cloud; I wondered what the weather was like in DC. I thought for sure the ride would take much longer than five hours, but I turned out to be wrong; it only took thirty minutes longer than the first time around.

DC was humid when I got back. I received some alerts announcing an upcoming heatwave — and they weren’t lying! Today was absolutely atrocious, but Lilly and I ventured into the nearby woods in the late afternoon. It wasn’t a bad hike; saw a snake and a deer, and wandered down random trails.

I’m riding the Chinatown bus again tomorrow; going to Philly this time. I’m only going because my mom’s got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Thursday. It’ll be nice to be in Philly again… perhaps this time I’ll get to see some folks with whom I didn’t get the chance to meet up last time. Or not. It doesn’t really matter, I’m moving back soon anyway.

I’ll be back in DC on Saturday afternoon… I would have spent the weekend in Philly, but Daina’s birthday celebration is taking place that day and I don’t want to miss it.

OkCupid: The Men, Part III

It’s been a busy time for socialization. I didn’t mention this in my last update, but I actually met Trevor on the 2nd — the day before said update. We went to the diner that’s right by my place. The impression I got from our online correspondence was pretty spot-on: he’s a chatty guy, and our conversation was very interview-ish — I hate that. I wasn’t surprised to find out that he studied business in college; remember the bit I said about him probably being an excellent networker?

One thing that caught me off-guard was the hug he gave me when I introduced myself at the diner. Whatever happened to the good old handshake? I guess I found it especially weird because while they were long, our private messages were never particularly warm or intimate. And I guess it bothered me because it was a one-armed pseudo-hug — what I also refer to as a half-assed hug. Either hug me with both arms or just don’t. It’s not that complicated!

He wrote me later that day, but I haven’t responded. I probably should, as it’s been a while, but I’m almost content to just let it go. I’m not interested in him — neither in a romantic way nor in a platonic way. How do you tell someone that you just don’t want to hang out with them? The thing is that I can’t even find the words to justify it. There were no awkward moments, no offenses, and he’s a really nice guy. Sometimes I really wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.

The next night, I met up with Daniel again.

The evening after, I met Raphael. He picked the place: a tea house in his neighborhood. The weather was nice, and the place was full, so I agreed to sit outside when he brought up the option. And since the weather was nice, I wore shorts. And since I wore shorts, my legs were bare. And since my legs were bare, I fed the mosquitoes. In under five minutes, I got a total of ten mosquito bites. TEN. That’s after I had applied Off! all over myself. I told him I couldn’t take it anymore, so we walked around. Chatty guy, that Raphael. Very pleasant to be around, charming, and very smiley. I didn’t feel like I had much to contribute to the conversation, which was okay because he filled in the blanks. Perhaps he thought I was a poor conversationalist, but I don’t care; I enjoyed just listening to him talk, and the fact that were walking the entire time helped a bunch.

He walked me to my bus stop and we parted ways; he said something about getting together again over a few beers. He’s a one-armed hugger, too; the differences between him and Trevor, however, were that 1) he explained to me that he was more of a hugger than a handshaker, and 2) I actually felt his half-assed hug (unlike Trevor’s, which was light and made me feel like his arm was just hovering — a half-assed half-assed hug?). I didn’t think I’d hear from him again, but it was fine because I didn’t feel much of a connection.

Two nights later — that’s the night of the 6th, if you’re following — I met Jason at my favorite dive in the city. We were set to meet at 7:30pm but I was about half an hour late because I took a nap and, well, found it hard to wake up.

I picked that particular bar because it was a place where I felt really comfortable — and that was something I needed, mostly because I felt a bit anxious about this particular meeting. I mentioned in my last update that we’d been corresponding via e-mail, but our messages were never very long; lots of casual “Hey what’s up, how’s it going?” type of messages. It started off with somewhat of a miscommunication, as he’d gone upstairs shortly before I walked in and sat downstairs. After exchanging a few text messages, he came downstairs and shook my hand.

I like being pleasantly surprised. We stayed at that bar for nearly five hours, talking and drinking. I’ll admit that I was a bit reluctant to leave, but the Metro had already shut down and I had to go to New York the next morning. He drove me home, which was nice. We exchanged a few text messages after I got home, and we e-mailed a bit today. In case you were wondering, he’s tall and really cute.

John, the guy whose name isn’t actually John, gave in and asked what my name was. You know what mine is; his is Joseph. See, I wasn’t too far off. We decided to meet after my upcoming trip to Philly.

Jack kept texting me every day despite my ignoring his messages. He hasn’t contacted me in the past two days, though, so hopefully we can just forget about this and avoid any potentially awkward/dangerous situations.

The others, mentioned in my previous post, sent me messages that have been read but not addressed. I should get to that at some point… I’m getting really lazy with OkCupid. As much as I spend a lot of time on the computer, I’m really having trouble keeping up with all these guys. Should I call it quits? The messages are still pouring in…

OkCupid: The Men, Part II

Here’s the rest of the guys with whom I’ve been corresponding; I was going to do this yesterday morning, but better late than never!

Jason, 26, was one of the first two guys to contact me after I fleshed out my profile. We talked a bit about The Zombies, and then I missed the perfect opportunity to meet him a couple days later because I was sick. He lives in Baltimore, so I don’t know when the next opportunity will arise. We’ve been corresponding via e-mail.
Compatibility: 68% Match; 67% Friend; 31% Enemy

Alex is 25 and we’ve only chatted through the site’s awful IM feature. We both like good beer and had decent conversations. We haven’t spoken in a while because I turned off the chat feature and neither has messaged the other. We had planned to check out a pizza place and a bar; all that was missing was a day and time.
Compatibility: 80% Match; 82% Friend; 19% Enemy

Bob is not his real name so this will have to do for now; he’s 28 and, according to his pictures, smokin’ hot. The site’s stalker feature showed that we’d been checking each other out, so he shot me a message with a random question. We’ve been learning a bit more about each other slowly, but somehow I doubt that a meeting will ever take place. DAMN he’s hot.
Compatibility: 89% Match; 9% Friend; 7% Enemy – I just have to comment on these numbers. If you were to turn this into a real story, we’d be a great couple until we break up and decide it’d be best to not remain friends. No hard feelings; it’s just better that way.

21-year-old Ben messaged me and talked about trying out his building’s pool for the first time and taking chances; our few messages are short and non-informative. He lives in Maryland, in a town I’ve never heard of.
Compatibility: 75% Match; 55% Friend; 23% Enemy

I’m saving the best for last because this shit is really priceless. I actually don’t know how I feel about the whole situation but I need to share. To respect his privacy, I’m going to change his name and not mention what he does or where he lives. He’s 30.

Jack first IMed me on the site asking a relatively harmless question — namely, what I was doing in on a Saturday night. The conversation flowed really easily and I checked out his profile. He seemed very easy-going and I thought he was very cute. He’s got a little crooked smile that makes him that much more adorable. We talked about meeting up some time later and I gave him my number — I’m now thinking it was a bit too quick, but oh well, too late now. I forgot about it and didn’t talk to him for a while until I got a random text message from him. From there on, we started to text rather than IM or message each other online. Relatively normal stuff, nothing perverted — just “Good morning, have a nice day” type of stuff. He’s been very sweet and funny, something that every woman, I’m sure, can appreciate.

Our compatibility is fairly low, as you’ll see at the end. I could have told you right away that we would never be a good match, simply because of the way he types; he’s a 30-year-old who types like he’s 20. Yes, people; I judge you based on how you type. Anyway…

He started calling me “sexy” and “gorgeous” in his text messages. For those of you who don’t know me, that’s just one more step in the wrong direction. He kept telling me about how he really wanted to cuddle — which doesn’t exactly strike me as odd because over the past few months I’ve had quite a few of those requests (from guys that I actually know, though).

And then, on Friday morning, at 7am, I get this:

“Wish you were here. Hope you have a good day”.

I thought about it for a second, and jumped right out of bed. Without even bothering to find my glasses, I walked to my computer and squinted at the screen. Google. First name, last name, city, state… “search”.

I can’t say I was actually shocked by what I found; I think it was more of an “Oh no, what have I gotten myself into” feeling. Are you ready for this?

Four years ago, when Jack was 26, he got arrested for having sexually explicit online conversations with an undercover cop who was posing as a pre-teen. A pre-teen — that’s a fucking child. And get this: Jack was a police officer at the time. On the bright side, he was arrested at his home, unlike others who were arrested at various places where they thought they were meeting the children to have sex. Whether or not he was ever thinking about meeting the fictitious teen remains a mystery for now.

I’m not sure whether or not I can give somebody like this the benefit of the doubt; was he serious about that at the time? Who IMed who first? Did the fictitious pre-teen come with a picture? Most importantly, did he learn his lesson? And has he changed since then?

I know what you’re gonna say: pedophiles are disgusting, there is no excuse for this shit, etc. Consider, though, the way that teens and pre-teens have been acting and dressing in the past years. There is no doubt that some youngsters are very good-looking; I don’t care how old you are, I’m sure you’re capable of admitting this as well. That being said, there is clearly a line to not cross; if you know that someone is below the legal age of consent, you should not mess with them. Period. On the other hand, flirting is fun, and doing it online is relatively harmless… right?

You can tell I’m pretty torn about this issue. I never replied to his morning text, and I let his evening text slide by as well. He’s on vacation this week; I’ll take this time to think about it some more, but I won’t be the one to reestablish contact.

Compatibility: 49% Match; 39% Friend; 51% Enemy

OkCupid: The Men, Part I

It’s been ten days since I’ve been playing around on OkCupid; I can hardly believe it myself. Aside from writing about it on this blog, I haven’t told very many people about it because 1) believe it or not, I’m a very private person (I ask that this blog is neither linked to nor shared) and 2) I don’t usually give unsolicited information. Besides, it’s none of anyone’s business.

With that out of the way, I figured I should talk about the guys with whom I’ve been in contact over the past several days. I couldn’t really figure out a way to sort this list, so this is in order of sorta-preference…

Among the first to contact me was Daniel. A 20-year-old CMU graduate, he is actually one of the few who’ve managed to get and retain my attention. After a few days of chatting, it was decided that we should meet up and hang out. I noticed that we were both very shifty-eyed; I don’t know how much of that was intentional, but I admit that this is a (bad?) habit I’ve definitely developed upon moving here. Would I consider him as anything more than a friend? I feel like our age difference puts a barrier between us because my brain is constantly telling me “No” and I don’t see any other logical explanation for that. Because, when I look at it objectively, he’s interesting, intelligent, good conversation and good company, not to mention very good-looking. Yes, the boy is cute. He’s also got beautiful eyes and a great smile. Bonus: he thinks I’m cute, too.
Compatibility: 80% Match; 68% Friend; 20% Enemy

And then there is John, whose name I don’t actually know. I’ll probably get around to asking him some day, but for now I’ll just call him John. 28-year-old John and I connected with the help of Quickmatch, which asks users to rate one another on a scale of one to five stars. If two users rate each other four or more stars, they get a message and take it from there — if they decide they want to take it anywhere. John messaged me on July 22; the thread that he started has eighteen messages to date, each of them longer than the previous one. We seem to have a great deal of things in common and amuse each other a fair amount in our exchanges. His writing is genuine and lighthearted, much like that of someone who’s writing to his best pals. He started the trend of asking each other random questions, which really makes for interesting conversation. We only just decided to go drinking at some point; he’s one of three guys with whom I have yet to chat live.
Compatibility: 90% Match; 49% Friend; 8% Enemy

Keeping with the theme of long private messages instead of IMs, there is Chad, who entered the picture three days later than Daniel and John. Like me, he is 24 and seems to have a penchant for artsy things. His messages are long and carefully written, whether by nature or conscious effort (I’m banking on the former). Writing him makes me feel a bit melancholy, perhaps because we can relate on that particular level. He lives in Baltimore, so I don’t think we will be meeting in person any time soon.
Compatibility: 81% Match; 76% Friend; 18% Enemy

My third keyboard-pal is Trevor, a 26-year-old who can come off as bit pretentious in his writing but not overtly so. Perhaps a better word would be “proper” or “appropriate” — not to say that Chad isn’t proper and appropriate, but I feel as though conscious effort is put into Trevor’s messages to make them engaging, as opposed to Chad’s fluid, almost-stream-of-consciousness writing. That being said, he seems like a good conversationalist and I would not be surprised if he were excellent at networking. We exchanged numbers (as well as a few text messages) and are set to meet this upcoming Sunday at a diner.
Compatibility: 76% Match; 72% Friend; 24% Enemy

Raphael is 29 and introduced himself via private message before Chad and Trevor. We’ve exchanged several messages but none has been as long nor as thoughtful as my other exchanges. Our messages haven’t been particularly engaging or enthusiastic, but we will be meeting on Tuesday evening for tea and maybe food.
Compatibility: 86% Match; 44% Friend; 12% Enemy

These are most of the main guys — I’ve got more in stock but will write about them tomorrow when I feel I can get the right words together. Meanwhile, there are some “real-life” guys I’ve been neglecting…

OkCupid: Beginnings

I am no stranger to OkCupid; for a while, I’ve been going to that site to take random quizzes and, essentially, procrastinate. In recent months, I learned that people I knew were using it — or considering it — as a dating service.

I am no stranger to meeting strangers from the Internet; Yelp has played a major role in my social life over the past year, as I left my beloved Philadelphia and, with it, my social circle.

But I was on the fence about OkCupid. It’s not that I’m against the idea of online dating, but rather that I’m not currently looking to date. The idea of a date is too much pressure anyway; I prefer meeting up casually and just hanging out, with no intentions of starting anything romantic, and going with the flow. However, a close friend informed me just a few days ago that she had made up her mind and was going to give it a shot. She signed up, uploaded a picture, and immediately got a few messages. She claimed it was fun. My curiosity got the best of me, and off the fence I went. But half-way through the registration process, I got an error message: my e-mail address was already in use.

How could this be? When I received a password reminder in my inbox, I nearly shit my pants; I had completely forgotten about my account. Upon signing in, I saw that I had a couple of messages from 2006 (year during which I created the account), which I ignored, and absolutely zero information filled out — not even a profile picture. And still, a couple of guys messaged me. Goes to show how predatory and desperate guys can be.

I took the time to fill out my profile and put a picture up. It wasn’t long before various strangers were adding me to their favorites lists, IMing me, and filling up my inbox. My friend was right; this IS fun! The most interesting part is probably checking out my compatibility with other OkCupiders. There are three percentages: match, friendship, and enemy. These percentages fluctuate with each question that you answer; they have this funky matching algorithm and, well, it works its magic in the background. Aside from socially inept morons who asked me questions like “r u sexual?”  and “can i have u”, I must say that most guys who contacted me seemed decent and functional. After chatting a good chunk of the night away, I signed off and went to sleep.

So, over the past few days, I’ve been messaging and IMing strangers, answering questions, and taking more quizzes.

Just this once, I will share some stats — just to give you an idea of how hectic it can get.

Sign-in date and time: July 21, 10:30pm
Current date and time: July 27, 2:15pm

In that time…

Guys who winked at me: 4
Guys who messaged me: 29
Guys who IMed me: 33

Of course, a few of them crossover. I browse the site with the IM feature turned off, mostly because of OkCupid’s horrible user interface. I hit it off with a number of those guys, and already have plans to hang out with them. As always, I’m happy about filling up my social calendar. Hey, gotta put the “fun” in funemployment, right?

Things are about to get really interesting… are you ready?