It just got dimmer in here…

My brain’s completely unable to focus on “important” tasks like school work and work-work. There’s a paper due tomorrow for those who want to write it, and I had all the intention of doing it today — but I didn’t. I wrote a paragraph or so on Tuesday, and thought I’d finish it off today. But I can’t. For starters, the topics suck. The book that this paper’s based on is a good piece of work, but it doesn’t strike me as phenomenal or particularly insightful, so I don’t have the mind to make up a topic for the paper. Also, I’m sick to death of this goddamn class.

So instead of writing that paper, I sat here all day trying to complete my translation assignment for my job; but I’m not done yet. It’s taking me an extra long time because everything is a distraction. My mind wanders off way too easily. There’s nothing in the living room but I still feel the need to walk over to that unfurnished area and stand there for a bit. I’m wondering if I should get tested for some kind of attention-deficit disorder, but I don’t think that’s it. I’ve been sleeping horribly this past week and I feel like half of my brain has been shut off.

I know that I should write this paper. We are given the opportunity to write two out of three papers over the course of the semester, but if we write all three, the lowest grade gets dropped. I wrote the first one, which was due on the same day as my presentation (yes, for the same class). This one is due tomorrow, and the last one is due December 1 — the very first day immediately after Thanksgiving break. I thought that if I did well enough on this one, I wouldn’t have to write the last one. Or, that I would write all three and have the lowest grade dropped. It’s too bad my mind’s not up for it.

It’s hard to conjure up concentration and motivation for a class that you never wanted to take in the first place. It’s not only that I didn’t want to take it; it’s that I got STUCK taking it because this program sucks (for lack of a better word) and the course offerings are limited to 3 or 4 each semester. One is translation, and the others are all literature-related. What’s the fuck’s up with that? So evidently I was majorly upset and annoyed before I even moved here. It’s no wonder I don’t want to do shit in this class.

Good thing the weekend’s coming up. We had a short period of warm weather toward the end of last week, and the heat was shut off in the building. Just when my heater started to function properly (i.e. give off consistent heat continuously without blasting hot air randomly); my roommate had to fetch a space heater for her room from her grandmother’s house. I’m not sure why anyone thought shutting off the heat was a good idea; we’re in November, not March. If it gets warm, it’s not likely that it’ll last. So of course, when it got significantly colder, they were slow to turn on the heat and now we’re back to square fucking one.

Lilly just turned on her space heater. It just got dimmer in here…