#1 I have to keep my legs together.
#2 Going to the bathroom is a bitch.
This lingering feeling of dissatisfaction…
and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.
We live in a world of savages — or, at the very least, my mother lives in a city of savages. The crime rate in Philadelphia is going up. Wake up, people! I remember when in the winter there were talks of lower crime rates; I bet now everyone’s wondering what the hell happened.
I’ll tell you what happened: the winter ended.
Criminals are like roaches: when it’s cold out, they stay indoors; when it’s warm out, you can find them all over the streets.
I’m really sick and tired of what’s happening currently. Have we no respect? Have we so little shame that we’d go so far as raping and murdering an 84-year-old woman, beating and robbing an 83-year-old man? What the shit is this world coming to?
I want to know what the fuck goes through these people’s hollow heads. Wind? Because it’s certainly not reason.
COWARDS. You really have to be a fucking coward who’s got nothing better to do (certainly no job in sight) than gather up two of your friends to beat on a senior citizen. And rob him, adding insult to injury. Though I’m not really quite sure if their intent was, from the very beginning, to rob him. They got away with something like $50. FIFTYmotherfuckingDOLLARS. Are you fucking shitting me?
Really? Fifty fucking bucks? Split amongst three people or are two of them the third one’s bitches? Because, frankly, either way you look at it, $50 won’t get you very far nowadays.
And then, on a larger scale, bombs are going off in India, trains are colliding in L.A., passenger planes are crashing in Russia, we’re a total hurricane magnet and China’s still fucking with everyone’s consumables.
It’s time you all start praying to your respective gods.
I’m almost wishing the flicking of the switch on September 10 had killed us all. If you’re gonna end this world, make it quick and painless — or at least make it so that we all go at the same time.
I worry about you. I’ve noticed that many of you stumble upon my blog by searching for the phrase “expired Buckley’s cough” or a variation thereof. Once I even got a visit from someone who googled something like, “is it safe to drink expired Buckley’s cough syrup?”
Opinions vary. Some say that it’s totally safe, others say that it might upset your stomach or that you will end up in the hospital. I don’t know where you could get a definite answer to this, but here’s my piece of advice:
Don’t do it. You never really know what’s in those bottles, and you don’t want to fuck with your health — or maybe you do, in which case, drink up! Generally, expiration dates are there for a reason; I like to think that people don’t come up with things like that just for shits and giggles. Expired anything is never a good idea. As a matter of fact, go through your fridge and medicine cabinet right now and toss out anything that’s expired.
When it comes to things that you ingest, always err on the side of caution.
Things are slowly coming together, I think. I have a short break from translating (professionally), and Lilly and I are currently finalizing details of the lease for this amazing apartment we found. I almost had a heart attack today, though, when I read over the updated lease (we had crossed out irrelevant/absurd clauses in the original lease that the landlord randomly found online) and saw that they changed a vital part of our agreement: we had to cover all utilities.
Thankfully, it was a mistake and the landlord’s wife assured us that we weren’t going to receive any bills. That clause will be changed yet again, and now we just have to wait for a new copy.
I’ve been very good at keeping up with school work and actually getting a head start every week. It’s actually only been two weeks, and I’m only enrolled part-time this semester, so there’s really no excuse. Still, I’m giving myself a gold star because I had never been able to get work started on time — let alone early — before. This is a huge step for me, and this just confirms my belief that a year away from everything and anything school-related is very beneficial. I’ve become a much more focused individual, which will make this year very easy on my nerves — I hope.
On another note, I feel the need to post a little something about this weekend. I’m always a bit reluctant to write in detail about my days/weekends/trips, but in the end I always do it — not so I can bore whoever reads this thing, but so I can go back and read about it myself. I used to keep a written journal, but thanks to computers my hands have gotten quite lazy. The girl who used to write thirty-page letters to her best friend on the other side of the ocean can now only write half-assed one-paragraph emails. Note that I don’t generally write bad emails, though; quite to the contrary, I tend to write lengthy, well-structured emails. It’s just that if I do that and receive a poor reply, don’t be surprised if I follow up with a one-liner.
Anyway, the weekend —
The first part of Friday evening was spent at the Sculpture Garden, which hosts a jazz concert every Friday during the summer (through early October), with Lilly and Marta. It was nice to be able to sit and wind down with some music in the background. We made our way to the Dupont area when we felt a little rain and decided to grab a bite. We hit up Kramerbooks & Afterwords for some butternut squash soup, catfish fingers, and macaroni & cheese. The soup, though mighty tasty, was too rich and creamy, and the catfish fingers too greasy. Feeling a bit iffy after that, Lilly and I headed back to our temporary home while Marta decided to spend some time mingling with her coworkers.
Saturday rained quite steadily, thus keeping me inside for most of the day. Once it stopped, Lilly and I took a walk to Bethesda and back. We went into the Trader Joe’s and I pointed out all the yummy things that I regularly get from that heaven-sent store. We then walked down to our future apartment, to the Van Ness Metro stop, took the Metro back and had dinner.
Today shone brightly and I went to the store looking for some bread (didn’t find anything fresh) while Lilly went out for a run. After lunch we headed out and took the bus to the Georgetown area, which I absolutely loved…it looks and feels so different from the rest of the city! It reminded me of French towns and villages, especially the ones by the beach. So many stores and eateries!
I don’t have a good way to end this post, so I’ll end it by saying that I should go to sleep because I want to get to school early tomorrow. And that I don’t want to go to school.
Every day, I get spam that tries to sell me products or get me to click on such and such link. Their subject lines range from something as simple as “hi” to ridiculous shit like “RE: Dear email@example.com 77% OFF.”
Other ridiculous subject lines I’ve seen include:
you have 6 unread messages from ladies
update your penis
You look really stupid username
Hi have a huge
Order a monster cock for yourself
Turn your short and tiny stick to something you can be proud of!
Beautiful Russian women waiting to meet YOU!
Bomb her womb from your huge canon!
Rod of pleasure in your pants
what a stupid face you have here username
Restore power to your groins
And while it’s nice to know that I can restore power to my groins so that I can bomb the wombs of beautiful Russian women who are waiting to meet ME! from my huge canon, I’d rather not. So, I have such emails filtered out and classified as spam.
For some crazy reason, I signed up for the A(sian) S(tudent) U(nion) listserv upon entering Penn a good five years ago (damn, five years!). I went to the first meeting and hated it, I went to the first party and hated it. So, I left and never turned back. For four years, I put up with the emails because I didn’t want to be one of those people who replied to all and screamed, “UNSUBSCRIBE ME PLEASE” — and I didn’t know that I could unsubscribe without going through people. At all.
ASU emails became more annoying upon graduation. When most people had their undergrad accounts deactivated automatically, I didn’t — simply because I was still working at Penn. So, I kept receiving emails from people I didn’t care about telling me about things I didn’t care about. I searched and searched and searched, and finally, in April, I found out how to unsubscribe once and for all.
|Date:||Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:47:05 -0400|
It’s that simple. From then on, I never received another ASU email. My life was complete.
Or so I thought.
I wake up this morning, and what do I find in my inbox?
ASU – Kick-off Party!!!
What. the. fuck.
Thinking there was no way in fucking HELL I was put back on the list, I clicked on “show details” and saw this GIANT list of email addresses. Instead emailing this shit to the formal listserv, they fucking input (I hope not manually) every fucking email address they’ve ever had on file.
Who the fuck does this?
I replied to the email (but not to all), telling them to remove my goddamn email address from “whatever crazy masterlist [they] have,” and rightfully asking them, “Seriously, what the fuck?” I hope I never hear from them again.
Let’s end this angry post with a completely pointless junk email that didn’t try to sell me stuff or ask for my password or anything — as a matter of fact, the email doesn’t even make sense:
show details Aug 11
jarvin seafood particular? lunch, uproot tennessee.
mckay tipperary chinese va papery papery, bstj
perturbation tennessee tennessee steam mckay.
lunch jarvin tumultuous
papery tumultuous telecommunicate? mckay, periclean destroy.
tipperary mckay fogging capacity papery makeup, abstain
tumultuous chinese ann declamatory tipperary.
catheter perdition byline
makeup particular uproot? knifelike, ann particular.