If all goes “as planned” — meaning if I don’t find a job in DC before my lease is up — I’m moving back to Philly over Labor Day weekend. How I feel about that? It kind of stinks. I know how much I initially hated DC — but that was before I met so many incredible people. Now I’m just torn; truthfully I’d much rather stay here because there are more job opportunities (or so I hear) and moving to another state is a real pain in the ass.
The day after I said that Jack from OkCupid had stopped texting me, he texted me. Talk of the devil, right? I pretty much stopped messing around with that site and replying to people — there are just too many messages and honestly, I’m not so down with putting in the effort anymore.
I saw Jason again; we went out for dinner on Sunday. When I described our first meeting, I mentioned that our e-mails were very simple, “Hey what’s up” type of messages. I’d like to amend that; our e-mails — exchanged several times a day and, well, every day — are more conversation-like, less blog-like. Anyway… the boy sure can hold up his end of a conversation. He’s just so pleasant to be around, easygoing and a solid head on his shoulders. Funny, too.
Aside from that, not much is new; people have been coming to the apartment to check it out, and I try to make myself scarce. Someone’s coming in four minutes, actually, but I don’t feel like leaving the apartment yet. Maybe I can pretend I’m a permanent fixture here.
Lilly’s gone. She’d been packing for some time now, transporting furniture over to her grandmother’s house and worrying about her luggage being too heavy. A cab came to pick her up about twenty minutes ago; I saw her off, then came back up to an apartment that’s never felt emptier.
I wish her only the best and hope that our paths cross again soon.
This feeling of helplessness is really unbecoming.
This feeling of helplessness is really overwhelming.
This feeling of helplessness is really suffocating.
This feeling of helplessness is really asphyxiating.
This feeling of helplessness is really debilitating.
A much anticipated trip to New York City has been made. Lilly had originally planned to go with me, but she changed her mind at the last minute. Pity, really, because she’s leaving for England in about ten days and hasn’t seen our NYC friends in quite a while — save for Iris, who was here during the July 4th weekend.
I left via Chinatown bus on Friday at 1pm and got to New York around 6pm. Iris met me when I arrived and we headed to the Museum of Modern Art because admission is free from 4 to 8pm on Fridays. We didn’t actually get to enjoy it because I had to check my backpack — and the line for that was unbelievably long. I did get to pee, though, so it wasn’t all in vain. We went over to the MoMA Design Store, which was pretty fun though overpriced (naturally).
Went to Chal’s place and hung out there the rest of the night. Luke joined us; we made margaritas, ordered a pizza, and played Pictionary. We painted most of Luke’s nails when he dozed off. Luke and Iris eventually left, and it was about time for bed.
I didn’t really sleep that night. I was on the couch, which was comfortable, and decided to watch TV all night. I watched most of the movie Twisted (Ashley Judd, Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson) and parts of Without a Trace.
Jack of OkCupid fame texted me the next morning; I didn’t reply. Chal and I met up with Iris. It was a beautiful day, so we decided to get some sandwiches at a nearby cafe and settle at the local park for lunch and a game of Trivial Pursuit; it was simply a blissful time.
The Guggenheim came next; I decided once and for all that I really disliked Frank Lloyd Wright’s work. I’m just not impressed with his simple and futuristic designs.
We met up with Luke and a friend of his for Mexican food — delicious Mexican food. The guacamole was made fresh right by our table and the portions were HUGE. The sangria tasted like fruit juice, but at least it was tasty.
Once we were too full to walk, we trekked back to Chal’s place to talk and watch TV. We wanted to get beer, but were way too full and (wisely) decided against it. Everyone went home, and, this time, I slept.
The next day, Chal and I met up with Iris for brunch in the neighborhood. Not bad, but not spectacular either. I got a $5 belt from the thrift store across the street because my pants needed to stay on my ass and to the Metro we went…
Chal left us at the station; Iris rode with me for two thirds of the ride; I thought I was going to miss my 3pm bus but got there right on time to nab one of the last few available seats… which was in the very last row between two guys.
The ride was bumpy but otherwise fine; I can never sleep for too long on buses anyway. I got a text from Raphael while rushing from the Chinatown Metro stop to the bus stop, so there were a few exchanges during the ride but nothing too significant. We found ourselves under a super massive rain cloud; I wondered what the weather was like in DC. I thought for sure the ride would take much longer than five hours, but I turned out to be wrong; it only took thirty minutes longer than the first time around.
DC was humid when I got back. I received some alerts announcing an upcoming heatwave — and they weren’t lying! Today was absolutely atrocious, but Lilly and I ventured into the nearby woods in the late afternoon. It wasn’t a bad hike; saw a snake and a deer, and wandered down random trails.
I’m riding the Chinatown bus again tomorrow; going to Philly this time. I’m only going because my mom’s got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Thursday. It’ll be nice to be in Philly again… perhaps this time I’ll get to see some folks with whom I didn’t get the chance to meet up last time. Or not. It doesn’t really matter, I’m moving back soon anyway.
I’ll be back in DC on Saturday afternoon… I would have spent the weekend in Philly, but Daina’s birthday celebration is taking place that day and I don’t want to miss it.
It’s been a busy time for socialization. I didn’t mention this in my last update, but I actually met Trevor on the 2nd — the day before said update. We went to the diner that’s right by my place. The impression I got from our online correspondence was pretty spot-on: he’s a chatty guy, and our conversation was very interview-ish — I hate that. I wasn’t surprised to find out that he studied business in college; remember the bit I said about him probably being an excellent networker?
One thing that caught me off-guard was the hug he gave me when I introduced myself at the diner. Whatever happened to the good old handshake? I guess I found it especially weird because while they were long, our private messages were never particularly warm or intimate. And I guess it bothered me because it was a one-armed pseudo-hug — what I also refer to as a half-assed hug. Either hug me with both arms or just don’t. It’s not that complicated!
He wrote me later that day, but I haven’t responded. I probably should, as it’s been a while, but I’m almost content to just let it go. I’m not interested in him — neither in a romantic way nor in a platonic way. How do you tell someone that you just don’t want to hang out with them? The thing is that I can’t even find the words to justify it. There were no awkward moments, no offenses, and he’s a really nice guy. Sometimes I really wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.
The next night, I met up with Daniel again.
The evening after, I met Raphael. He picked the place: a tea house in his neighborhood. The weather was nice, and the place was full, so I agreed to sit outside when he brought up the option. And since the weather was nice, I wore shorts. And since I wore shorts, my legs were bare. And since my legs were bare, I fed the mosquitoes. In under five minutes, I got a total of ten mosquito bites. TEN. That’s after I had applied Off! all over myself. I told him I couldn’t take it anymore, so we walked around. Chatty guy, that Raphael. Very pleasant to be around, charming, and very smiley. I didn’t feel like I had much to contribute to the conversation, which was okay because he filled in the blanks. Perhaps he thought I was a poor conversationalist, but I don’t care; I enjoyed just listening to him talk, and the fact that were walking the entire time helped a bunch.
He walked me to my bus stop and we parted ways; he said something about getting together again over a few beers. He’s a one-armed hugger, too; the differences between him and Trevor, however, were that 1) he explained to me that he was more of a hugger than a handshaker, and 2) I actually felt his half-assed hug (unlike Trevor’s, which was light and made me feel like his arm was just hovering — a half-assed half-assed hug?). I didn’t think I’d hear from him again, but it was fine because I didn’t feel much of a connection.
Two nights later — that’s the night of the 6th, if you’re following — I met Jason at my favorite dive in the city. We were set to meet at 7:30pm but I was about half an hour late because I took a nap and, well, found it hard to wake up.
I picked that particular bar because it was a place where I felt really comfortable — and that was something I needed, mostly because I felt a bit anxious about this particular meeting. I mentioned in my last update that we’d been corresponding via e-mail, but our messages were never very long; lots of casual “Hey what’s up, how’s it going?” type of messages. It started off with somewhat of a miscommunication, as he’d gone upstairs shortly before I walked in and sat downstairs. After exchanging a few text messages, he came downstairs and shook my hand.
I like being pleasantly surprised. We stayed at that bar for nearly five hours, talking and drinking. I’ll admit that I was a bit reluctant to leave, but the Metro had already shut down and I had to go to New York the next morning. He drove me home, which was nice. We exchanged a few text messages after I got home, and we e-mailed a bit today. In case you were wondering, he’s tall and really cute.
John, the guy whose name isn’t actually John, gave in and asked what my name was. You know what mine is; his is Joseph. See, I wasn’t too far off. We decided to meet after my upcoming trip to Philly.
Jack kept texting me every day despite my ignoring his messages. He hasn’t contacted me in the past two days, though, so hopefully we can just forget about this and avoid any potentially awkward/dangerous situations.
The others, mentioned in my previous post, sent me messages that have been read but not addressed. I should get to that at some point… I’m getting really lazy with OkCupid. As much as I spend a lot of time on the computer, I’m really having trouble keeping up with all these guys. Should I call it quits? The messages are still pouring in…
Here’s the rest of the guys with whom I’ve been corresponding; I was going to do this yesterday morning, but better late than never!
Jason, 26, was one of the first two guys to contact me after I fleshed out my profile. We talked a bit about The Zombies, and then I missed the perfect opportunity to meet him a couple days later because I was sick. He lives in Baltimore, so I don’t know when the next opportunity will arise. We’ve been corresponding via e-mail.
Compatibility: 68% Match; 67% Friend; 31% Enemy
Alex is 25 and we’ve only chatted through the site’s awful IM feature. We both like good beer and had decent conversations. We haven’t spoken in a while because I turned off the chat feature and neither has messaged the other. We had planned to check out a pizza place and a bar; all that was missing was a day and time.
Compatibility: 80% Match; 82% Friend; 19% Enemy
Bob is not his real name so this will have to do for now; he’s 28 and, according to his pictures, smokin’ hot. The site’s stalker feature showed that we’d been checking each other out, so he shot me a message with a random question. We’ve been learning a bit more about each other slowly, but somehow I doubt that a meeting will ever take place. DAMN he’s hot.
Compatibility: 89% Match; 9% Friend; 7% Enemy — I just have to comment on these numbers. If you were to turn this into a real story, we’d be a great couple until we break up and decide it’d be best to not remain friends. No hard feelings; it’s just better that way.
21-year-old Ben messaged me and talked about trying out his building’s pool for the first time and taking chances; our few messages are short and non-informative. He lives in Maryland, in a town I’ve never heard of.
Compatibility: 75% Match; 55% Friend; 23% Enemy
I’m saving the best for last because this shit is really priceless. I actually don’t know how I feel about the whole situation but I need to share. To respect his privacy, I’m going to change his name and not mention what he does or where he lives. He’s 30.
Jack first IMed me on the site asking a relatively harmless question — namely, what I was doing in on a Saturday night. The conversation flowed really easily and I checked out his profile. He seemed very easy-going and I thought he was very cute. He’s got a little crooked smile that makes him that much more adorable. We talked about meeting up some time later and I gave him my number — I’m now thinking it was a bit too quick, but oh well, too late now. I forgot about it and didn’t talk to him for a while until I got a random text message from him. From there on, we started to text rather than IM or message each other online. Relatively normal stuff, nothing perverted — just “Good morning, have a nice day” type of stuff. He’s been very sweet and funny, something that every woman, I’m sure, can appreciate.
Our compatibility is fairly low, as you’ll see at the end. I could have told you right away that we would never be a good match, simply because of the way he types; he’s a 30-year-old who types like he’s 20. Yes, people; I judge you based on how you type. Anyway…
He started calling me “sexy” and “gorgeous” in his text messages. For those of you who don’t know me, that’s just one more step in the wrong direction. He kept telling me about how he really wanted to cuddle — which doesn’t exactly strike me as odd because over the past few months I’ve had quite a few of those requests (from guys that I actually know, though).
And then, on Friday morning, at 7am, I get this:
“Wish you were here. Hope you have a good day”.
I thought about it for a second, and jumped right out of bed. Without even bothering to find my glasses, I walked to my computer and squinted at the screen. Google. First name, last name, city, state… “search”.
I can’t say I was actually shocked by what I found; I think it was more of an “Oh no, what have I gotten myself into” feeling. Are you ready for this?
Four years ago, when Jack was 26, he got arrested for having sexually explicit online conversations with an undercover cop who was posing as a pre-teen. A pre-teen — that’s a fucking child. And get this: Jack was a police officer at the time. On the bright side, he was arrested at his home, unlike others who were arrested at various places where they thought they were meeting the children to have sex. Whether or not he was ever thinking about meeting the fictitious teen remains a mystery for now.
I’m not sure whether or not I can give somebody like this the benefit of the doubt; was he serious about that at the time? Who IMed who first? Did the fictitious pre-teen come with a picture? Most importantly, did he learn his lesson? And has he changed since then?
I know what you’re gonna say: pedophiles are disgusting, there is no excuse for this shit, etc. Consider, though, the way that teens and pre-teens have been acting and dressing in the past years. There is no doubt that some youngsters are very good-looking; I don’t care how old you are, I’m sure you’re capable of admitting this as well. That being said, there is clearly a line to not cross; if you know that someone is below the legal age of consent, you should not mess with them. Period. On the other hand, flirting is fun, and doing it online is relatively harmless… right?
You can tell I’m pretty torn about this issue. I never replied to his morning text, and I let his evening text slide by as well. He’s on vacation this week; I’ll take this time to think about it some more, but I won’t be the one to reestablish contact.
Compatibility: 49% Match; 39% Friend; 51% Enemy