Home > people > Trader Joe’s Complete Body Cleanse, Day 2

Trader Joe’s Complete Body Cleanse, Day 2

I’m very happy to report that today has been relatively fart-free after having farted my way through the night — I even farted myself awake at 3:40 am. Naturally I was a bit nervous about what my day would be like, but I soon realized that I had run out of gas. I had a decent-size bowel movement, which briefly interrupted my brainstorming session for meals. I didn’t know whether or not I could eat oatmeal and frankly could not bother to look it up because I was not the least bit interested in it today. I decided to make my lunch instead: sliced cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, and olives with a little tiny bit of balsamic vinaigrette. I shit you not, that is all I took to work today. And then I said “fuck it” and made myself a sandwich for breakfast, which consisted of a whole wheat bagel and chả chiên (fried chả lụa or Vietnamese ham). WHATEVER! I had half of it and finished the rest at work, where I had a second and smaller bowel movement.

I spaced my eating pretty well so that I wasn’t starving too much by the time I left work. I skipped the gym yet again because 1) I’m tired these days and 2) I wanted to hit up the Reading Terminal Market again because the Amish folks weren’t there yesterday… and I wanted to get zucchini from them.

‘Cept they didn’t have zucchini today. I did get some carrots, though!

Oh, and 3) I’m ditching my gym for a seemingly more grandiose one. Screw you, university gym! Screw YOU, students who spend more time talking to each other than working out! but I digress.

Got home and had a slice of watermelon with a tiny bit of salt… and a square of 71% cacao chocolate with a piece of whole wheat bagel. Shut up. I’m PMSing.

I roasted four chicken thighs in the oven with some eggplant, onion, and mushroom for dinner. I took a thigh out to cut it and check for doneness but ended up eating the whole thing. WHOOPS. Had another one with some of the veggies; the remaining thighs and veggies are for work tomorrow. I realize it’s way more than what I had for lunch today, and truthfully I don’t know if that matters, but it’s really difficult to change your diet/do a cleanse when you live with your mother. If she wants to cook but you can’t or don’t want to eat, you’ll ultimately feel bad because she either won’t get to cook, or she’ll cook but no one will eat it. Perfect example: today she decided to make Bò Kho, which is a delicious Vietnamese beef stew. Guess what I’m eating tomorrow night…

Anyway. She’d bought these chicken thighs and well, there you go. Plus the box didn’t say to reduce my intake of chicken, so cluck it.

Here’s a little collage of (almost all of) what I ate today:

Some other observations:

– I’m peeing A LOT with this cleanse. It’s highly recommended to drink a lot of water throughout the day (it’s so hot anyway, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to), and I’m taking at least 16oz of water with each pill popping (the indications say 8oz).

– I noticed this morning that my skin was peeling a bit around my mouth; my manager said something about it being yeast. I’ll look more into that tomorrow.

– I’m breaking out a bit more than usual, though it could also be because I’m about to get my period (in which case it isn’t unusual). I’ve heard of other people mention breaking out a bit as a result of toxins leaving your body or something… I may or may not look more into that tomorrow.

– I’m now starting to get a headache but I’m not sure what the cause could be… I’m definitely hydrated and I don’t believe I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms, seeing as there is no coffee or nicotine to cut out of my life. Maybe it’s sugar.

That’s all, folks! I just took my three huge and smelly digestive pills. Let’s see what tomorrow brings!

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